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These are books I often use with couples in counseling. Reading is optional, and books are a supplement to therapy, not a replacement for it.
Last updated September 24, 2026
by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver
A research-based guide drawn from decades of studying couples. It covers building closeness and fondness, handling conflict, working through gridlock, and creating shared meaning, with practical exercises throughout.
Good for: any couple who wants a practical, research-backed starting point.
by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
A widely read guide to personal boundaries. It explains what healthy limits look like, why they matter, and how to set them with a spouse, family, friends, and coworkers without guilt.
Good for: anyone who struggles to say no, or couples working on respect and responsibility in the relationship.
by Shaunti Feldhahn and Jeff Feldhahn
A short, plain-spoken book that helps men understand what the women in their lives are often thinking and feeling, based on the authors' surveys and interviews.
Good for: men who want to better understand their partner's perspective.
by Shaunti Feldhahn
The companion book, written to help women understand what drives the men in their lives, also based on the author's research.
Good for: women who want to better understand their partner's perspective.
by Shaunti Feldhahn and Jeff Feldhahn
A boxed set that includes both For Men Only and For Women Only, plus a conversation starter for couples to use together.
Good for: couples who want to read both books and talk about them side by side.
Some couples find a chapter or two helpful between sessions. I may suggest a book when it fits what you are working on, and there is never required reading.
Links go to the authors' own websites. These books are not a substitute for professional care. If you are in crisis, call or text 988, or call 911.